The Pineapple King and the Strawberry Prince
by MaximumParanoia
Summary: The short adventures of Renji and Ichigo in Hueco Mundo. Basically a Crack Fic. Slight Ichi/Ren.


Title: The Pineapple King and the Strawberry Prince

One-Shot

Summary: The short adventures of Renji and Ichigo in Hueco Mundo.

Pairing: IchiRen

Disclaimer: I don't believe in disclaimers because I wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I owned it and I'm not making any money off this.

Me: So yeah, this was based off a crack rp me and an old friend had several years ago. Freaking Aizen and bagels man!

* * *

Sand as far as the eye could see, but in one direction a huge building loomed. That was where they had to go. Orihime had to be there, he was sure of it. "Oi Renji!" Ichigo called out for the lieutenant. He finally spotted him, coughing up sand. He looked funny, very funny. "Renji, you look a little under the weather today, heh." His friend shot him a glare, still coughing up sand. Finally, he had finished and stood up, taking in the sight before him. Endless sand, a few trees and a huge building, presumably where Orihime was being held.

They both started running, but no matter how far they ran it never seemed to get closer. It seemed like eternity before the building seemed to even get a little closer. The lack of enemies was also unnerving, or maybe they had fools luck. Neither cared, it made things easier, course it also had something to do with the fact, Aizen was expecting them. "Hey, pretty quiet isn't it?" Renji finally voiced his feelings. Ichigo smiled at his friend, "Nah, just how it's supposed to be, I thought ahead, we should have a welcome committee greet us at Las Noches."

The look on Renji's face was priceless, if he ever got back alive, he'd probably be in huge trouble for going on this little mission. But he didn't care, for once he would happily accept punishment, because this would most likely turn out to be quit fun. He had become lost in thought, till he tripped over Ichigo. "Nyeaom!" Renji said as he came toppling down on Ichigo.

"AAHHHHH! R-Renji g-get off me!" Ichigo was writhing beneath the bigger shinigami. His face painted scarlet as he pushed Renji off. The shinigami representative sat up, scratching his head getting sand out of his hair. He could hear laughter in his head; the damn hollow thought it was hilarious. He chose to ignore his hollows laughing for now and shut him out of his thought. He stood up and pulled his friend up with him. "Can we please get there without you managing to be a complete and total fool?" he remarked.

Renji shot him a look, "Not my fault I tripped." They continued to walk the rest of the way in silence. After what seemed like forever, the building that is Las Noches loomed in front of them. They had made it. "Hey, how do we get in?" asked the orange haired shinigami. They both began to think, it's a building. "Perhaps there's a door!" they both exclaimed. They began searching for a door, up and down they went. "Dammit, where is the door in!?" Renji said in frustration. He kicked up some sand, crossing his arms and huffing.

Neither of them could find a door inside, and it was getting on their nerves. "Where the hell is the door!" they both exclaimed. Both began glaring at one another, trying to think up ways to make it the others fault. Before Renji could voice his thoughts, Ichigo shouted rather excited like, "The door!" Somehow while they were silently standing there fuming, the door had decided to appear out of nowhere.

They run up to the doors, what awaited them beyond the tall gateway, was a new chapter in their story. A weird chapter, but a chapter no less. The doors open, standing there not the least bit pleased was he teal haired arrancar, Grimmjow Jaggerjaques. "Eh, you're the one they sent to get us?" Ichigo said snidely. Grimmjow glared at him, showing his distaste for the teen, "Look, I didn't want to come get you! Aizen-sama made me come." Ichigo realized this was the perfect time to have some fun with the arrancar. "What's the matter Grimm? Didn't you want to see me?" Ichigo said taunting the teal haired arrancar.

The arrancar shot him a cold look, "Just shut up." Like he'd shut up so easily, it would be fun to mess with Grimmjow. "Aww, cant we just have a friendly chat, eh, Grimmy?" Ichigo must have hit a nerve for Grimmjow stopped and turned on him. "Look shut up, I really don't want to hear your voice! And since when was my name Grimmy?" A brilliant idea came to mind, and a devilish grin spread across the carrot-tops face. Ichigo sauntered over to Grimmjow and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. The arrancar fell hard, he had lost his composure, he slowly let his own arms wrap around the smaller teen.

[Hey king, what the hell do you think you're doing!?] Came a familiar distorted voice in his mind. He quickly cut his hollow off, not wishing to hear his complaints or opinions. He quickly let go of Grimmjow and regained his composure, unlike the teal-haired arrancar. "Eh hem, we need to get going." He stated after clearing his throat. Renji who had been giving Grimmjow the evil eye the entire time quickly snapped out of his mood and nodded quickly. Taking the lead, Ichigo unknowingly left his two companions to glare at each other. Several doors lined the hallway they walked down. "Hey Grimm, where is Orihime's room?" at the question the arrancar snapped out of his mood. "Her room isn't too far from here. If you want I can take you to see her." Ichigo was thrilled, his whole reason for being here revolved around Orihime.

[So we actually get to have fun, I never thought you one to actually think this way]. It was true, he would never have done this but he felt compelled to, maybe it didn't help that he let Renji know what happened. He had been acting funny as of late, and it was beginning to unnerve the young teen. [You're having second thoughts already? What do you have a guilty conscience?] Again, he shut out his hollow; he didn't like having it pry into his private thoughts like that. Occasionally it could be quite helpful, but not now.

Both companions had noticed that Ichigo had become lost in thought; he had stopped walking long ago and just stood in the middle of the hallway. "Oi, Ichi! You alive in there man?" Renji said before getting pushed over by Grimmjow. The arrancar ran up to the orange-haired shinigami and shook him violently waking him from his trance. "Huh…wha…oh, Grimm..." Ichigo couldn't finish his sentence since Grimmjow had brought their lips together in a crushing kiss.

The look on Renji's face was priceless to the arrancar, he was eating it up. But it was short lived because he was immediately pushed away by Ichigo. "Bastard! What was that for!" his face was as red as Renji's hair. This made the bright-haired shinigami's blood boil. He reached up, punched Grimmjow square in the face, and sent him through the air a little ways. He walked off down the hall in a huff leaving an almost unconscious Grimmjow and a startled Renji. After the moment of silence, both stood up and attacked one another shouting, throwing punches and causing all manners of racket.

"What is all this racket…Oh, it's you, Grimmjow…and if it isn't Renji. Long time no see!" came the familiar mischievous voice of the former 3rd Squad Captain, Gin Ichimaru. Both stopped dead at the sudden appearance of the fox-like man. He stood in the doorway of a room, Renji, being curious, attempted to lean to the left and see past him but failed miserably and fell over. Grimmjow instantaneously broke into laughter. Renji jumped up instantly and tackled the laughing man. Both went down wrestling and rolling around on the ground. "Now now would you two please keep it down. I'm trying to put together a magazine. And I just can't simply concentrate with all your racket." The two still didn't stop.

"Hey, can't you two behave for one moment while I'm gone!" came the scolding voice of their orange-haired friend. Both stopped immediately, taking a step away from each other, pretending nothing happened. The silver haired man had gone unnoticed, slipping in behind Ichigo. The teen shivered and jumped when he felt the ghost-like touch on his back and shoulders. He turned around eyeing the ex-captain. "Well well, if it isn't Kurosaki-san!" the man said in his unusual yet casual way. His expression unnerved everyone.

They all edged their way around Ichimaru before running off down the hall. None of them stopped till they had reached a large pair of double doors. Ichigo leaned on a wall, Renji lay collapsed on the floor, and Grimmjow was bent over leaning on his own knees, all three panting heavily. "Why…did…we…run away?" Ichigo asked almost out of breath. It was the teal -haired arrancar who shrugged in reply, because Renji had passed out. Ichigo bent down and leaned over Renji, slowly reaching out a finger and poking the Shinigami. When he didn't stir at the touch the teen spoke. "I think he's dead!" he declared aloud.

The arrancar put on a grin, after kicking the "dead" shinigami, he began advancing on Ichigo. The teen did nothing as the arrancar wrapped strong arms around him. Only moments later, did he get a kick in the back and fell to the floor. "Don't you dare try and take advantage of…of…" Renji couldn't finish scolding Grimmjow; he couldn't find the right words.

[King, why do you have such stupid friends?]

{Idiots every last one of them.}

[Exactly my point Zangetsu!]

"WOULD YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" Ichigo yelled, aloud, but not knowing that he did. Unbeknownst to the three Gin had once again joined them during their fiasco. "Eh hem…Aizen has asked me to give you a tour of everything, and show you to your rooms. You'll be staying in the room in between Grimmjow and Ulquiorra's room." The silver haired man declared.

Renji finally calmed down enough to process what the ex-captain had just said. Ichigo sat there listening to his hollow count the seconds till Renji actually had it click in his brain. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7. "I'm sharing a room with Ichigo! Hah in your face Cat Fucker!" Renji was dancing around the room like a moron and taunting Grimmjow, who had finally righted himself and could stand. After punching Renji square in the face and sending him into the wall Grimmjow walked off. Gin was unamused by the petty fighting and motioned for everyone to follow him.

The silver haired man led them down the long hallways. Several other hallways branched off the main one, and several doors leading to rooms lined it. Gin didn't even mention where anything went, only where the arrancar's slept. "And this is your room!" he said pointing to a door, "It's a room with its own bathroom and kitchen; it's the second biggest next to Aizen's. Have Fun!" gin said smiling walking away leaving Renji and Ichigo alone in the hallway. Neither moved to open the door, they just stood there.

[Hey king, don't stand there like a dumbass, get moving! I wanna see this room.]

{Indeed.}

[No one asked you to speak, go back to your ponder pole]

{Since when did you tell me what to do Nameless one.}

[That's it!]

Ichigo could hear them tumble around in his inner world, they never got along, and it was getting on his nerves. Finally, he decided to end it and shouted into his inner world.

(Would you both knock your crap off, or so help me I'll come in there after you!)

[Spoil Sport.]

Everything went silent after the last two words from his hollow. Ichigo looked up at Renji who was bent over him. "Oi Ichigo are you okay, all of a sudden you passed out!" Renji said practically shouting at him. He hadn't realized he'd fainted when he spoke into his inner world, he hadn't really entered it, and so he didn't think it would happen. He waved it away as nothing. Standing up, he pushed open the door. The room had a bed, a bookshelf, and a couch against the wall under the lone window that the moon loomed in its view menacingly. An arched opening in the wall lead to the kitchen, and a closed door was on the other side of the room, leading to the bathroom most likely.

"Well this is quite nice, but it needs a closet!" Ichigo said, "And we need to get some of those awesome clothes that everyone is wearing, considering we're going to be here for a while, I don't want to stick out!" As if on cue, Ichimaru came in with a pair of clothes, a white version of Renji's shihakusho, and a white outfit for Ichigo similar to his Bankai outfit. "Thank you!" Ichigo said, shouting at the silver haired man, untying his obi and pulling the top of his Shihakusho off. Throwing it in a random direction, he put the white coat on. Renji did the same, putting on his own shirt. Pulling down their hakama that also was tossed in random directions, they put on their new white hakama's.

Ichigo struck a pose, "So how do I look?" Renji blinked several times, taking in the sight of Ichigo in the slim fitting coat and white hakama. "Kawaii!" he said running up and hugging Ichigo, rubbing his cheek against the teen's forehead. Ichigo just stood there in a daze. [Ha ha ha, you look horrible in white, you know that King?] Ichigo growled, making Renji let go "You don't have to growl at me. It's not like I did anything to piss you off!" he said. Ichigo waved him away and fell back onto the bed. "Naaaa, this bed is sooo comfy!" he said, wiggling around on the bed like a little child.

Renji dived on the bed making Ichigo bounce up a bit on it. A small laugh escaped from his lips as he watched Ichigo bounce up. Rolling over he wrapped his arms around the smaller teen, burying his face in the teen's coat. Ichigo sighed and slowly wrapped his own arms around Renji. A small gasp escaped his lips when he felt a cold hand snake its way up the back of his shirt. "Renji!" the teen gasped out, trying to push the shinigami lieutenant off but to no avail. Taking in a deep breath he brought his knee into Renji's side, winding him, then throwing him off onto the ground.

Renji got up unphased, climbing back onto the bed, rolling over on Ichigo. "PERSONAL SPACE!" Ichigo cried as Renji scooted up against him. Strong arms wrapped around his waist pulling him even closer to the red-haired shinigami. But this time he didn't resist, turning to face Renji. He let his head rest on the older shinigami's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

Ichigo let the soft pounding in his friend/lover's chest lull him into a deep sleep. Renji looked upon the sleeping strawberry, smiling to himself. He found himself running his fingers through the teen's soft orange locks. Moving a strand of hair that had fallen into his face. He noted how his friends face had softened, he looked so different from when he was awake and his features were in a permanent scowl. He let himself fall to sleep, still running his fingers through Ichigo's hair.


End file.
